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|Posted on October 9, 2014 at 2:00 AM|
So the word forgiveness has been swirling around my social media this week, after it was the hot topic of this week’s i-netradio “buddha beat” segment.
I think as a Buddhist my response was surprising to some…I am all about forgiveness…but I do believe that some people don’t deserve forgiveness… at all.
Now before you start sending messages to my inbox, allow me to elaborate.
I believe that some … not all…people use the process of forgiveness like a get out of jail card in a monopoly board game.
It is not for me to judge who deserves forgiveness…but it is my decision on how, when, and if I am going to forgive someone. Forgiveness…I believe is something that easier send then done. I can sit here and tell you how liberating it is to forgive someone…but the truth is…it’s one of the hardest thing to do in life. The other… telling a person you love then.
Now you might be actually sitting and thinking to yourself that’s not hard thing to do.
But think back to the first time you realize that you loved your wife, husband or partner…
Now how easy was it to say I love you?
I think when it comes to affairs of the heart…whether its love…hate…or resentment…it takes time to make peace with the emotions within you. I think forgiveness is a process that first starts within, I can’t forgive you, if I can’t forgive myself for allowing you in my life and giving you the freedom to hurt me in the first place.
Forgiveness is really not about forgiving the other person…forgiveness is about forgiving yourself. After you are able to forgive yourself then it opens the door for reconciliation… or not…but it enables you to release yourself from the prison you created yourself.
Yes…that’s right…a prison you created…yourself.
We hold on to forgiveness because it is the only emotion that we are left with… the only emotion that still connects us to the person or persons who has wronged us. By holding on to the grudge, pain, and resentment we keep the memory of what was… alive and kicking in our heart.
Forgiveness is the long overdue funeral where we ask for forgiveness of ourselves.
So in the end, forgiveness is not about forgiving a person, it’s about forgiving you…
And deciding how to proceed with the person who has hurt you the most...you.
~xoxo Sincerely Yours, Nerisa
Categories: *My (Nichiren) Buddhist World*